I'm in a deep mood...

I don't know why, but every so often I get into this mood - where everything is a question, and an answer at the same time. I call it my 'no-sleep-for-you' time. This is because whenever i'm in this deep mood and i find myself going to bed, i'll be happily drifting off to sleep when suddenly I get hit by a massive brick wall of a thought - 'what happens when we die?' - but what does? Because one minute we're there, then we're just not. Plus, is it like when you're asleep but you're not dream

ing - when you don't even have any awareness of anything - you're just gone? Where does your whole personality thing go? I know it's all chemicals - I don't even wanna start thinking about afterlife cos tbh i have school tomorrow and i kind of wanna be conscious for that and not catching up on pointless lack of sleep but WHAT HAPPENS?

I'd like to think that you stay as a ghost - cos i would be a bitch of a haunter. The thing with that whole argument though - is if dead people can be bothered to go to extraordinary lengths to pass into another whole dimension, why would they simply move a lamp, or pick up a chair? Why not actually tell us living that there is another dimension rather than spending precious energy on moving household objects. I can do that. It's like me knowing the meaning of life and, like the bitch i am, keeping it to myself and instead of unleashing the answer that has been hungering the human

race for centuries, I throw cutlery at some unwitting person. Is that analogy too distant from the original point? I don't know - like I said - my lawyer will have the answers.

Answers are weird - why do we always want answers? In my opinion i think the human race are still stuck writing the questions. The whole meaning of life thing ties in here - it's just irritating. The human race is so naive and childish that it spends its existence trying to find out why it has an existence. Why are people still hung up on the whole meaning of life? If the human race was granted the answer to any question, I bet we would ask 'what is the meaning of life?', because we've been saving it for centuries. However, what we haven't realised yet, is that in keeping the question for so long - the answer has probably come and gone thousands of times, different answers are being thought up and presented, but the human race are continuing blindly - because it's not the answer we want. We want something beyond ourselves. We don't want to hear all the usual answers, we are desperately holding out for something new that just isn't going to arrive. Deep. Don't get me wrong - science and all that finding out stuff about the universe is blates exciting but the meaning of life has to be different for everyone - surely? Too deep - got a bit carried away... too deep... i'm drowning in meanings of life...

BYE