A Letter for Jessie

Dear Jessie

You do make me giggle with your eccentricities and strange if slightly racist comments in our English lessons. We have had some funny fun-times. Ahhhh. Thinking of them now makes me want to go outside and find some friends who have lives. However, I do believe that our Chemistry times make Chemistry teacher want to kill us and all our living relatives and loved ones... such fun.

So Jessie I feel mean for not including you in a post. I'm very sorry dear, i'm also very sorry for gettting so angry when you refer to yourself in the third person.

IT'S THE THIRD PERSON JESSIE. THE THIRD PERSON IS NOT TO BE USED BY YOURSELF.

So anyway. Some of my favourite funny times include, yes, the incident with Scary Short Welsh Head of Year 13. Ahhh, too funny. I have only run from one teacher in my time a Weald, and it will always be her. Just thinkin

g about her cold, soulless eyes, her crop of horn-hiding hair and her general lack of height makes me think of you and all our times with her :D .

I hope this post has sufficed Jessie B and to ensure this I have included a picture of which I have lived my life by, except for the fact that I don't like coffee. Substitute it with Monster.

Excitation and ALICE

Alors,

How are you guys? Apologies for the lack of postage.I was sleeping.

Excited

It's 3 days guys. 3 days. Those of you who are thinking, 3 days? 3 days? I've forgotten something. WHO'S GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY IS IT? WHY HAVE I FORGOTTEN? OH DEAR GOD, I'M A SICK EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. Yes. Yes you are a sick excuse for a human being. The Nintendo 3DS, my friends who have lives, the Nintendo 3DS is out in 3 days. I despise you for not being excited. I'm excited. I'm not even getting one in 3 days. I'm getting one in August. On my birthday. In August. On the 28th August. In 5 months time. Yet i'm weeweeing at the prospect of the 3DS.

Alice

So I have to write a post today apparently, and in this post I am to include one Alice Ferguson.

Alice is a funny child.

She is married to English Teacher because of their shared love for brie.

Today she was unexpectedly attacked by Eda which resulted in mass hilarity amongst people.

She enjoys pulling caves to which she has given birth to.

Her Disney song recital skills are immense.

Her forehead is also famous.

And this is why we love Alice Ferguson. She's a babe.

Oh, btw, Katie Price and Kate Middleton use iPhone to get plastic surgery in Fukushima.

Yahoo

I don't know if anyone really pays much attention to the 'Trending now' box on Yahoo home page. I do. When i'm bored / doing homework / revising / watching TV i like to go on Yahoo home page and made headlines out of this 'Trending now' section. Don't judge me, I have a small life. I will from now on be sharing these with you lovely people. Here is one for today.

The actual parts from Yahoo are in bold for your easy viewing.

Noel Fielding cures prostate cancer as Jessica Alba convinces Man U to play in Lingerie.

You try it. It's more fun that you think it is. Well it is for me anyway.

Cheese.

Pictures

I recently had an incredibly boring Life Skills lesson for which I was in a computer room. It was about jobs and careers... sickening. So anyway I wasn't going to sit and learn about the world of work with Life Skills teacher peering over my shoulder and telling me off for eating a lolly. It was a good lolly. Cola flavoured. Nom. So anyway - I was sitting on some website about jobs and other shizz when Microsoft paint called to me. I drew a picture and e mailed it to my good friend the Joslar. This, is that masterpiece.

Josie then responded with this masterpiece

To which I replied

She then said

I then wrapped up the conversation with this

So that was my Life Skills lesson. One of the most insightful I think i have experienced.

By the way. I'm watching egg heads with my parents - as any cool person does. It makes me SOOOOO happy when they fail. Their smug little faces contort and their stupid minds wither under the embarrassment. Ah good times. :) There's one called Daphne who looks all cute and old and helpless and then as soon as they go into the questions she turns into this.

I LIKE PICTURES :D :D :D

V and Eda <-- again :/

V - Velcro. I like velcro, it generally makes life a lot easier, unless it's evil velcro. Everyone has experienced the good, helpful velcro. The kind of velcro that says 'hey, how are you, I value your time and I know you have to get your shoes on quickly, so just slap me around your feet and i'll make sure those bitches you call shoes stay on and give your feet the warmth they deserve'. However there is the evil velcro. This velcro lives to destroy you slowly. It waits in the dark until you finally succumb and decide that you must use the device it currently inhabits - shoes or a something else with velcro on. Then, when you are starting to trust this velcro, happy with it's initial loyalty - lulled into a false sense of security - it tries to kill you. It may latch on to hair - stick to your unsuspecting, innocent head and attack you from the face.

And that is why I don't trust velcro.

So, I was told to write about Eda. Again. So, I will update you in the Eda times. Not much has really happened. OH MY GOD I FORGOT. Eda now has braces. It's scary. As in when she wants to be scary, Eda can now be seriously scary. I'm kind of nervous now of what to write - cos seriously she could be the Terminator. Eda knows i'm joking - she knows I love her :P . But even so - Terminator.

A letter for Beccy

BECCY
Hi BECCY.
You are doing your drama at the moment so you cannot see this. It looks good – very deep. You can’t laugh at the funny bit though my dearest. It may fail. Anyway, this letter is just to say hi. Is this scene a kind of alcoholic meeting or something???? Ooooh. So ma love you seem to be in quite a pickle. If you have lost you pre release booklet then you will surely DIE. Barrett style. I’m bored. You may have guessed. Because of this lonely boredom, I will recall to you my adventures in the story of Dragon Quest 9 of which you just saw me playing. I HATE IT. But I’m addicted at the same time. Scary shizzle. Basically, I defeated the white knight – YES IT’S THE ACTION FIGURE. And now I’m stuck trying to kill some other monster.

You are sitting next to me now so I’m going to go.

Lots of lovesies

TABLARRRR XXX