I'm bringing 'lom' in. It's happening. Get over it. Now that that's sorted, let's get down to business. There's no business, but i thought i should post seen as i haven't posted in like forever. Lol. IT'S TEENAGE SPEAK GONE MAD. Lom. Do you want to hear a story? Here's a story.
One day, there were three children waiting at the train station. The first, Sally, a strange looking child with a head far to large for her own good, looked out across the tracks, a look of longing stretching across her usually animated face. The second, Janice, her taller counterpart was confused by this longing, however, could not communicate as she had taken a vow of silence. Instead she ushered to the third, a shorter but more intelligent friend (Tammy), and indicated the other friend's sadness. Sally's face was expressionless, her usually warm eyes were haunted by the ghost of what she may never achieve.
"What the fuck are you looking at?" Tammy delicately inquired, before being punched in the face by Janice, who had momentarily forgotten her godly ways. Janice helped Tammy off the platform as Sally's lips parted to speak the words,
"Alas, I may never fulfill my true wishes" Tammy was intrigued by Sally's outburst, and offered a comforting pat on the shoulder, Janice fell to the floor and prayed. Ignoring their mumbling friend, Sally and Tammy sat on a bench and spoke.
"I must follow my heart and become... a penis model" Tammy struggled for a second, processing the information, before reminding Sally "but, you have no penis". At this, Sally threw herself next to Janice on the floor, crying and pounding at the concrete in fury. It was clear that there was more to this than met Tammy's eye, so she stood awkwardly, waiting for the pair to finish. People stared. Soon, Janice finished praying and pulled Sally up, still muttering to herself.
"I will be a penis model" Sally whispered in a moment of quiet reflection, before running from the train station, leaving Tammy to stand awkwardly with Janice.
3 days later, Sally walked into the common room. Her eyes glistened with their usual dewey glory , her step was lighter as she breezed across the room and she was grinning like a fucking retard. Janice was busy reading the bible, but Tammy looked up and saw Sally. What was revealed to Tammy was beautiful, the way it sat, like a beast, growling in fury, swinging freely with the wind. It was all colours, glistening off the common room lights, inventing brand new shades just by springing back and forth. Tammy inhaled sharply, filled with awe. Janice fell to the floor and prayed.
"I decided to opt out of the penis modelling. I bought a tamagotchi instead" murmured Sally into the stunned silence.
The End...
Mother Fuckers.
