Pictures

I recently had an incredibly boring Life Skills lesson for which I was in a computer room. It was about jobs and careers... sickening. So anyway I wasn't going to sit and learn about the world of work with Life Skills teacher peering over my shoulder and telling me off for eating a lolly. It was a good lolly. Cola flavoured. Nom. So anyway - I was sitting on some website about jobs and other shizz when Microsoft paint called to me. I drew a picture and e mailed it to my good friend the Joslar. This, is that masterpiece.

Josie then responded with this masterpiece

To which I replied

She then said

I then wrapped up the conversation with this

So that was my Life Skills lesson. One of the most insightful I think i have experienced.

By the way. I'm watching egg heads with my parents - as any cool person does. It makes me SOOOOO happy when they fail. Their smug little faces contort and their stupid minds wither under the embarrassment. Ah good times. :) There's one called Daphne who looks all cute and old and helpless and then as soon as they go into the questions she turns into this.

I LIKE PICTURES :D :D :D

V and Eda <-- again :/

V - Velcro. I like velcro, it generally makes life a lot easier, unless it's evil velcro. Everyone has experienced the good, helpful velcro. The kind of velcro that says 'hey, how are you, I value your time and I know you have to get your shoes on quickly, so just slap me around your feet and i'll make sure those bitches you call shoes stay on and give your feet the warmth they deserve'. However there is the evil velcro. This velcro lives to destroy you slowly. It waits in the dark until you finally succumb and decide that you must use the device it currently inhabits - shoes or a something else with velcro on. Then, when you are starting to trust this velcro, happy with it's initial loyalty - lulled into a false sense of security - it tries to kill you. It may latch on to hair - stick to your unsuspecting, innocent head and attack you from the face.

And that is why I don't trust velcro.

So, I was told to write about Eda. Again. So, I will update you in the Eda times. Not much has really happened. OH MY GOD I FORGOT. Eda now has braces. It's scary. As in when she wants to be scary, Eda can now be seriously scary. I'm kind of nervous now of what to write - cos seriously she could be the Terminator. Eda knows i'm joking - she knows I love her :P . But even so - Terminator.

A letter for Beccy

BECCY
Hi BECCY.
You are doing your drama at the moment so you cannot see this. It looks good – very deep. You can’t laugh at the funny bit though my dearest. It may fail. Anyway, this letter is just to say hi. Is this scene a kind of alcoholic meeting or something???? Ooooh. So ma love you seem to be in quite a pickle. If you have lost you pre release booklet then you will surely DIE. Barrett style. I’m bored. You may have guessed. Because of this lonely boredom, I will recall to you my adventures in the story of Dragon Quest 9 of which you just saw me playing. I HATE IT. But I’m addicted at the same time. Scary shizzle. Basically, I defeated the white knight – YES IT’S THE ACTION FIGURE. And now I’m stuck trying to kill some other monster.

You are sitting next to me now so I’m going to go.

Lots of lovesies

TABLARRRR XXX

Annoying Sister is Annoying X(

My sister is a weird and infuriating being. At the moment - she is keeping me up, when I really would like to be far away in sleepy sleep land, by giggling downstairs with one of her year 9 mates. :/ . They are baking.

BAKING.

At 1:00 AM. BAKING. The only people who bake in the early hours of the morning are paedophiles stocking up for a full day of child luring with cakes and biscuits, wedding planners and insomniacs. As my sister fits in to none of those categories, even though one time I did find her eyeing up and Reception kid at my old school christmas fair, she SHOULD NOT BE BAKING IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING. It's not even good baking. They must be drunk or something cos they put a load of baking powder, flour, milk and red colouring into a baking tray and now it's breathing and bubbling in my oven. Annoying sister is annoying. She should really stop with the unnecessary inventions now. She recently bought a pair of headphones but they were, apparently and I quote "too scratchy" so Sister thought it appropriate to cut up MY TIGHTS and tie them around her headphones. :O . Not scratchy any more though.

So, have you guys ever done anything weird in the middle of the night - keep it clean people - Eda, Jessie, Beccy - don't get too excited this isn't going to turn into some kind of sick chat room where you can share your experiences and get off on others'.

Farewell children and good night

p.s THEY HAVE JUST TURNED THE TV ON FULL VOLUME - I ENVY MY PARENTS SLEEPING ABILITIES

My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance's new album. :O.

In year 8, I was in my emo phase. EVERY child has an emo phase - they wear dark clothing, fingerless gloves, listen to sad music and sit in the dark crying. Such fun. During my emo period in life, My Chemical Romance were at their darkest, Daily Mail even accused them of causing the rise in teen suicide in 2008. Let's face it, to be perfectly honest - My Chemical Romance didn't exactly discourage the idea that life is shizz. The old MCR had pretty much started their own musical genre - a kind of cross between indie music and thrash metal and it had a wierd, hypnotic hold over my year 8 school year and i'm sure many other's who listened to The Black Parade.

But the point of this post because believe it or not there is a point, is that MCR have risen above their emo phase - Danger Days is still MCR sounding - just less - OMG life sucks. And plus Gerard's hair could cure blind people. Oooooh. That's how they should cure blind people. Would that work??? Show them something fluorescent? I don't think it would. FLUORESCENT. I have a fluorescent jacket - I may have to wear it. BACK TO THE POINT. My Chemical Romance has matured. That's basically all I wanted to say - I thought i'd drag it out. That's basically what I do anyway.

Have fun in life and prosper, young ones.

Goodsybies. Sorry if this was a boring post. I will endeavour to include squirrels in the next one.

U

U -Underage cockyness. I am speaking, of course, not about all year 7s, 8s and 9s but of the ones who stand infront of you in a corridor, motionless while you struggle to get past. I am speaking of the ones who laugh at you as you casually fall over infront of the giant windows in the canteen. I am speaking of the children who take the last fish and chips at lunch right before you, the children who take your seat on the bus. These children, year 11, should be stopped. If we don't then who will? Who will stop these bubbas if we don't? The next generation of year 11? No. Year 11, I have learned that violence is not the way with year 7s. Teachers don't seem to see the need for hitting the years below us. Neither can you swear at them. Year 11, we cannot torment nor bully them - we need to stay good for sixth form otherwise we'll all die.

So, how do we stop them? Simples. We can't. There will always be annoying year 7s, as all years below your current age group will be stupid and infuriating - it is something that we have to learn to live with. I'm sorry, but for now we just have to make do with the issues presented by these pre-pubescent children. For example, to ensure no year 7s get fish and chips on Fridays just take away the chips. Steal them. Chips are the only reason people buy fish and chips - so steal the chips and, if you're feeling particularly profitable, sell them to year 10 and above. BANG. Problem solved. :/ .

Hope this has helped the year 11s of Great Britain in their plight against the babies of our secondary schools. And to any year 7s who are starting secondary school in the summer - ignore this post - please don't freak out about being physically abused by older years - it's not that bad. Joking. It's fine. Please don't commit suicide - would put a downer on my, like, life.

Bye. xx

Animals

I'm watching Vets In Action at the moment - it's sad :( . There is, however, a cow on it. I like cows. Cows are independent but not cocky. They just stand there like, "i'm a cow, i'm happy, i produce milk - here take some - it's good". They're happy go lucky characters - I like that a lot in an animal.

I like cats too - but for a different reason - kind of the opposite reason. A good cat loves you and only thinks of himself as better than you.

A bitchy cat is arrogant and shows you he is better than you. I love my cat. You probably know that by now. But my cat is more like - please

say with Russian accent - "i like you, you can stroke me, but not for long times cos then I get cranky - but don't leave me too soon or i give you wide eyes and watch guilt burn your soul."

As with cats - I believe there are two kinds of dogs - adorably stupid and fantastically intelligent. I am both a dog and cat person - I love both equally. But dogs are so much more open about their love than a cat. My favourite Dog is Mia - a golden lab. She's like - "I have your shoe. I'm going to show you the shoe so that you know I have it. Do you want it back? Go on, it's right there, take it. HA YOU'RE STUPID IT'S MY SHOE NOW FIND THIS IN THE MORNING."

Rabbits are small and gross. The ones with red eyes creep me out especially - they bore into YOUR MIND. They can tell what you are thinking and they WILL judge you. Just remember that next time you make eye contact with one of these tiny bitches - they can pick up your thoughts. You have been warned. Don't blame me when one of these innocent little fluff-balls steal your pin number from your brain and buy cars, mansions and energy drinks with your hard earned savings. Think before you trust them.