Alleyway Ironing Board

So, it's the last week of term before Christmas. It's been a long week. However, every morning I open my Homer Simpson advent calender, eat the plastic chocolately goodness presented and head off into the oblivion of the morning with a Homer Simpson scarf (I genuinely hadn't noticed a Homer Simpson obsession until now) and a bitch of a cold.

On Monday, I set out down the alley that I walk down every morning to see...

AN IRONING BOARD set out and behold, in the alleyway next to my house, like a Christmas miracle was... an ironing board.

And it wasn't even just dumped there by the notorious furniture dumpers of Kent - it was proudly standing in the middle of the path... WHY

Then the next day, as I ventured down the path, I discovered it had moved down the path. WHO CAN BE BOTHERED TO DO THAT? All week, this ironing board has been moving down the alleyway, standing up in the middle of the path.

I've started to fear it, thinking maybe, if I get too confident and stray too close to the phantom ironing board it might stab me or shoot me or just be really, really mean :(. I'm avoiding it. I walk very quickly around it as far as i can away from it. I'm risking the creepy murderers to dwell in the bushes because i can't face the ironing board from hell.

Here is an photo that I took of the culprit. Make of it what you will...